Amusing job requirements

I recently received a job spec that had the most ridiculous “Required” skill set for an “Analyst Programmer”. I though I should share it with you as I have just spent the last 10 minutes cleaning tea out of my keyboard with cotton bud’s. Here is how it was presented in the email:

* C# Java Script Java
* ASP.NET 1.1 ASP.NET 2.0 J2EE
* Visual Studio 2003 SOA Visual Basic
* Winforms Development Visual Studio 2005 Linux
* SQL Server 2000 (TSQL and Database Design) AJAX Data Cleansing
* Full Life-Cycle SQL Server 2005 SMS
* Object Oriented Design Multi-channel CRM IVR
* Strong verbal and written communication skills Call Centre UML
* Organisational and problem solving capabilities ISO9000

Now obviously this list was formulated by someone who has no idea what these things are, so lets brake that up into a proper list…

Skills Required:

• C#
• Java Script
• Java
• ASP.NET 1.1
• ASP.NET 2.0
• J2EE
• Visual Studio 2003
• SOA
• Visual Basic
• Winforms Development
• Visual Studio 2005
• Linux
• SQL Server 2000
• TSQL
• Database Design
• AJAX
• Data Cleansing
• Full Life-Cycle
• SQL Server 2005
• SMS
• Object Oriented Design
• Multi-channel CRM
• IVR
• Call Centre
• UML
• ISO9000

I can’t imagine anyone actually knowing how to do all of these things. If they do, they would only have a cursory knowledge of  each think and be useless at programming any one of these. I could understand this for a Architect or Evangelist role where depth of knowledge is not required. But for a programmer there is a necessity to concentrate on one technology at a time, and only with 2-3 years commercial experience would you be considered “good” at it.

Whoever this employer is needs to come to the realisation that this is about 5 (or more) roles all mashed together:

• Architect
• .NET Developer
• Java Developer
• Web Developer
• SQL Developer

If I am wrong, please let me know! And if you are one of these “Uber-Analyst Developers” then…well, I don’t believe for a moment that you could actually do all of these things well…

Advice for an employer: If you are an employer, only define a list of the absolute essential skills. If you find someone good enough at those, then they can learn the bits and bobs that go with the others.

Advice for a job seeker: If you are a prospective employee, don’t lie and say that you know all of these things (I have interviewed my fare share of people who did), but instead say that you know a set of core things, and that you can learn the rest…

Advice for everyone: I am not saying that it is the holy grail or anything, but read Joel on Software , many of his articles are just common sense, but other are down right genius (and, no, I am not looking for a job at Fog Creek Software ;).

Especially:

• The Guerrilla Guide to Interviewing (version 3.0)
• A Field Guide to Developers
• Finding Great Developers
• Writing a programmer job description

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